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Paradox
Everything, including love, comes with a price.

Monday, June 29, 2009

irritated right now -.-
completed my compiling of fnn.
took out ss.
but i have no mood to study!
tmr physic test, i cant even get anything started just right!
pissed off right now. -.-

today was weird seriously.
i woke up at 1 am in the morning.
and i thought to myself.
i think its 6 already.
cos i think i slept really long.
so, i heard plastic sound.
i thought mom was throwing the garbage.
so i walked outside.
and guess what i saw?
my dad eating prawn crackers
using the com!
AHHHH!
and besides,
this is not the first time already -.-
the other time was worse.
i barged out of my room.
seeing mom and dad watching tv.
LOLS. stressed -.-

went to school.
mouth started to become itchy.
i couldnt stop talking today -.-
funny thing was
i waved to fadhilah,
SHE STARED AT ME.
guess what?
i found out, she was unable to recognize me
just because i changed spec.
entered class,
waikin came over and told me
he and his clique thought i was sinyee!
LOLS.
jiayi was shocked.
joey face, as usual.
well, at least wilson said was nice.
hahah.

went lunch with cynthia, jiayi and sinyee.
ate curry o , carrot cake and seafood gyonaza stick.
plus a vitasoy.
after that, rushed home
took a bathe.
revised some work with jiajing.
wow, his notes.
really, wow.
but anyway, thanks(:

so now,
trying to focus on ss and physics!
got to go study and eat.
bye!(:


Saturday, June 27, 2009

yo, back from church.
decided to post something short.(:
to this baby clara chua,
if you ever see this.
chill man! i am always here for you.
anything, i can give you a tissue, shoulder or anything! :D
should be proud i am even blogging about you.
HAHAHA :D

i am lost.
i do not know how to handle the situation i am in.
though we only see each other once a week,
i sit in front of you.
we know of each other existence.
i really want to go up and say hey do you like anyone
its like, ever since rj incident.
i promised myself not to fall in love till os is finish.
but then you came along.
and gosh, i got myself tangled again.

why do i always meet the wrong guys
while everyone meets the ones that really will be there for them?
why do i always meet cry babies or flirts
while every other girls meet guys that will message them to sleep
gosh, my life is so annoying
i really cant wait to be a hermit after the os.
really, i can see a change in myself.
i have started to become an anti social.
just because, i have created a shield to stop myself
from getting anymore rubbish, attitudes and hurts again.
its really annoying alright?




alright humans, just a brief thing of what happened recently(:

thurs.
went to catch transformers 2!
awesome movie :D
but dad said only suaku people like me would say nice -.-
went to hans river for dinner.
LOL, DONT GO THERE MAN.
how can they expect me to survive?
NO WATER LEH.
1 cup 2 bucks.
rip off. -.-

friday
stayed at home to study, although its sis birthday.
hahaha!
ate duck rice at home -.-
while sis and cousin went over to grandpa house to eat
pizza and kfc. LOL.
so different.
anyway, gave her the bag.
well, cynthia and joey.
if you see this, the bag still smells like sotong! o.o
hahahah!
ok. ate delicious chocolate cake.
its like.. wow, lots of chocolate :D

sat
new tutor came today.
HAHAHA,
he looks like a teddy bear o.o
cute cans!

ok thats all humans.
off to bathe and to church.
bye!



Tuesday, June 23, 2009

had a fun-tastic outing today with cynthia and joey! :D
went to buy a present for sis first.
counting down to this special girl's birthday.
hope she sees this.

after buying the gift,
we headed down to e hub
to catch 'Ghost of the Girlfriends Past"
guess who we saw?
TANI LAWE! :D
was a really nice movie.
Not exactly what we expected though.
like those flicks where we can laugh our guts out.
But the ending was special.
Sweet, and i nearly cried!
and haha, thurs going to catch Transformers 2 with family! :D

after movie, we headed down to say cheeze at T1.
sorry dear joey! i didnt know you didnt bring enough money! ):
i keep thinking today is wednesday -.-
even till now. lols.

anyway to friends, thanks for all your concerns.
the wk thing was just a misunderstanding.
but to wk, this might take a long while
before i actually get rid of this feeling.

how i wish i can be friends with you.
you are truly special.
the moment i see you,
my heart feels contempted.
but what she said is true.
there is a very limited chance that you would even notice me.
even though i just sit in front of you at times.


Saturday, June 20, 2009

actually, i try to ask myself.
why am i trying so hard
to find someone to replace this emptiness
inside me.
even now, i cant understand.
even now, i am still seeking for an answer to this question.
but there is definitely one thing i can assure.
i am doing this cos i know
i have lost something valuable.
and i am finding this something.
but physically, i do not know what exactly this thing is.


went tuition today.
SO FUN!
i have never had so much fun in tuition before.
is like, everyone was laughing.
cos we cnt answer basic questions on trigo.
mr tok nearly fainted mans. haha
he said: i thought this is too easy?
wow, if my best p6 class compete with you all,
who will win huh?
haha.
and theres this really cute guy behind me.
he just kept saving me.
i hate trigo. really,
especially bearings -.-
why am i even learning that!
so ya, he helped me say the ans,
or even whisper to me.
sweet right?
if only i would have met some friends like him.
not like someone.

wore my kimono(not traditional), finally!
joey saw me coming, and she walked away -.-
cynthia saw me, her jaws dropped.
lols.
went to church,
obviously, some people were staring.
wonder who. haha, wont mention(:
but today was great.

will miss the fab people at mr tok tuition!
keeping them in memories though.
wish all of them luck for the os.

anyway, tmr wearing the same outfit again! :D
celebrating father's day
and sis birthday(so extra. its like on 26 la! HAHAHA) -.-
dress code formal, no slippers and stuff -.-
stupid hotel. ass.
anyway, can put make up!
HAHA, finally have excuse to put make up.
sad thing, i feel fats poking out of place
i am like a glutton -.-
mom have decided to buy me diet powder!
awww.
sorry clique!
that means, NO MORE RECESS AND LUNCH
till i lose at least 5 kg -.-.

signing off!

i am so glad, i have friends that care for me.
i dont need your concern(: , the memories we have together.
i seriously have forgotten them. HAHAHA. bye you freak!



Thursday, June 18, 2009

my so called perfect life.
it isnt that perfect anymore.
i have been crying myself to sleep.
my parents worry for my tuition daily.
mom has been crying.
it hurts. it really does.
dad has changed.
but still, i know they still love me.

to waikin,
i hope you sees this.
what happen to our best friend forever.
you have changed.
ever since joey said.
why last time you find amanda, now you find cynthia.
it hit me.
why must i see it after that incident?
well, cos i trusted you too much.
no, i am not saying cynthia . ok?
its just, ever since that incident,
it really hurts me.
i thought friends were always there for you?
but now, you are not.
whenever i am down,
you werent there.
whenever i am hurting, you didnt care.
well, i want to shoot you now.
who was the one who tried to cheer you up when you cry.
WHO.
well, now i say.
i dont need you anymore.
cos i cnt trust a single guy except my family.
and what my sis says is right.
no guy is nice unless they really like you.
all those about i will care for you as a friend
its all nonsense.

this morning, my sis told me.
jie, your eyes look like panda.
its like losing its colour.
all black.
i really want to share everything with her.
but i just dont knw how to communicate with her.
but sis, i love you.

God, i hope you will plant someone here for me.
who cares for me, love me,
when i am angry, they will calm me and understand me.
its not that i want to vent the anger on them.
its just, i cnt control.
when i talk, they will listen.
not change the topic or dont answer me at all.
am i born to be surrounded by people who doesnt even hear me?

my school, church and all.
i am just standing on a thin line of ice.
below it, its all sharks.
and i didnt know it,
until i fell into the water.
sinking...
falling..
drowning..


Sunday, June 14, 2009

i think i am going nuts.
cos my emotions have been hyper and really good.
you may think this is good but no.
if you go to cynthia tagboard and see,
you will worry for me.

1) i was talking to my bolster and kissing it when i watched a movie ( friday )
2) i was eating almond beancurd (today) and i said hello to it.
yea, i was talking to it -.-
and i thought it said hi.

so ya thats why.
and i started to enjoy watching toy story o.o .
think the pig is really cute.
the dino is awesome.
and mr potato a shortie. though i am not that tall either :D
and also, i having been playing with my hair,
my hair is badly curled.

if you think im stress, i tell you.
no.
if you think im mad.
you are crazy.
the actual reason why i am this state cos im
1. bored
2. i have lost trust in so many people, i am scared.
3. tired. ( not as in lack of sleep, but myself.)

say the word
and i will sing for you
over oceans deep i will follow.


Friday, June 12, 2009

was watching 100 days with mr arrogant just now.
ok girls, these are the reasons why you should watch.
1 top most important reason: the guy is hot. if he isnt, why watch? waste of time right?
so ya ok, the guy is so hot, i dont mind him being my boyfriend! :D
second reason: the story is so funny la. my bolster and i had a good time together.
ya, i was the only one laughing, apparently.
last reason: if you cnt sleep tonight, dream about the movie and good dreams will come.

sigh, having a maths tuition later.
meeting up with joey and cynthia for dinner.
i am so bored, i wish i cn run away from reality.
i wish i am sick now so i no need go tuition -.-

seriously, i just cnt get you out of my mind.
but there is two problem.
we only know we exist.
and i doubt i like you too.


Wednesday, June 10, 2009

ouch.
the conversation really baffles and hurt me.
really,
one of the reason why i am studying so hard for my olevels is that.
i want to wake up to see my darling pet cat staring at me.
but then....

A: dad, 12 points ok? remember. 12 points!
D: no, sorry. but you have to wait for your own house.
A: WHY!??!?!?! WHY. *glare at him.
D: cos your mom is scared of anything which has fur on it.
A: BUT YOU PROMISED.
D: wait for your own house. you put pig there also i dont care alr. but now, no.

cries!
i want to prove my dad wrong.
he said, not even a dog is allowed!):):):
is like, they had a deal with me and now they back out.
sigh. nvm, i will show them how cute a cat will be! :D

anyway, just went to cynthia blog .
-.- , am i that scary when i scold someone?
well, at least i has some fans. LOLS.
haha(:

ok, now really bored at home.
cramps are so painful, i cn just scream and slap someone.

i dont even knw you.
but the moment i saw you, my heart melted.
is this love?




today i am so pissed off,
i just have to write out how i feel.

to _______.
if you think my friend
after throwing her aside when you feel like it
and when she leaves you you want her back
by putting blog songs same as her
messaging her everyday
copying my name on her tagboard
pretending to be me.
really, i would rather she stead with a goat, cow or horse
than such an irritating gay like you.
who is such a disgusting disgrace to the male gender
i cnt help but to cry
cos i live in the same country as you.
get a life, if not
bang the wall and die.
but really, i will pity the wall cos it contains your horrendous blood.

to ________.
i am so disappointed when you said me.
get a life will you.
you call yourself a man?
pfft.
say me when i trusted you.
say me when i treated you like a male.
say me when i made you the best friend.
fish, milk,cow you.
i am utterly disgusted by you.
i am truly hurt by you.
when you say im petty,
cos _____ is late,
get a life and get it right.
i am a girl.
FEMALE.
so you should be the one who is petty.
just because i said you for the message of sp
you give me the black face, walk away,
mumble to _______ say you want go back class.
message her saying i am so petty cos _____ is late.
i am truly hurt, disgusted and irritated by you saying im petty.
cos why?
i am a girl, and you are a guy.
thats why.

see? guys can never be trusted.
they bring you to the peak.
and then they push you to see you fall to death.
what is worse,
they gloat at your fall.
and the worst,
they always make you treat them at best.


Thursday, June 4, 2009

today was a really fun day.
had physics,
busy trying to figure out what ms lee was saying.
went to lunch with kelly, joey cynthia and waikin, as usual.
took a whole lot of pictures.
saw a really hot hunk :D !

well, let the pictures say our day
enjoy! (:

CAUGHT. SNAPPED. COMMENTED.
the following pictures were snapped in such a way
you can comment it, laugh at it, stare at it.
comments shall be left in the tagboard on the right of this blog.
special thanks to joey tan the i-must-see-a-smile photographer
chia waikin, the aiya-notnice-one photographer.
and amanda foo the anyhow-click-also-nevermind photographer.
A stands for Amanda, J stands for Joey, C stands for Cynthia,
K stands for Kelly and WK stands for Waikin.

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comment by A: what is cynthia trying to do -.-
comment by J: cynthia think she very humorous is it.
comment by WK: quick! squeeze in the picture.. why dont have my face??? T.T
comment by C: hahaha! my face is small enough to fit!

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comment by A: Sorry dear! i was forced by joey to post!
comment by K: I am so going to get joey for this.
comment by J: i owe you money is it, why never smile... What is it with that blank look?

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comment by J: Wow, youngsters these days. What are they thinking? This year olevel still want get into a relationship. -.-
comment by A: Waikin thinks his arms very man huh, stretch until like that. What is he proving? that his hand very white?
comment by WK: Amanda foo! dont you dare post this picture.

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comment by WK: you go touch Amanda's butt. i will snap it.
comment by J: i touch your butt, you take a pose.
comment by A: Joey Tan, what do you think you are doing! *screams in shock. (girls these days. they dont only touch boys, they touch girls -.-)

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comment by A: i think they planned to wear same shirt today man. They think couple shirt ah. hello, that is class tee can -.-
comment by J: In broad day light do such things, can they be considerate? they think they very humorous huh. Do they think they are the only 2 people left in the world? So grey, helloo, i am still here can -.-.

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comment by J: MOMMY! What is Amanda doing! AHHHH!
comment by C: LOLS! *laughs on the chair.
comment by WK: good shot! (Maybe i want try on cynthia.)
comment by A: Hey babe, i can be a better kisser than glenn.


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comment by J: ready already anot. my mouth is hurting.
comment by WK: Say cheese!
comment by C: Wow, lovely family photo. Daddy is WK, Mom is J.
comment by A: i though is C the mom, WK the dad?

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comment by J: Wah, amanda, you super extra can. this is a couple photo leh -.-
comment by A: Shut up la, they want low profile so purposely use me as a decoy. i feel so used!
comment by WK: hurry up take la, talk to much.
comment by C: i am going to kill joey for talking so much.
* these comments were made because J kept saying C " i owe you money ah, why never laugh." then she said to me " you laugh so much for what?" and to waikin " can move in abit anot. you sit so far for what?" then WK said to C and A " you two girls think you very humorous huh? kepp covering my face like a curtain?"
so ya, thats why.

byebye! this post shall end here(:
hope you enjoyed yourself!




Wednesday, June 3, 2009

i just had to blog about something that happened
really interesting today.
Or else, my heart will never rest.
Firstly, we had our lunch at ikea today.
joey ate the hotdog.
before she even took a bite, the entire bun dropped off!
seriously, how did it drop?
it can even do a 180 degree flop.
not bad yea?

well, that woman again last minute called
yea, we had our lessons cancelled -.-
as usual, i knew something like that would happen.
sigh.
well, thats all i have to say!(:
bye!

The potential Ice cream Stuffer Winner-of-the-Year.
comment: unique, unglam, big mouth she got, beautiful, touching, what is she trying to do?
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The two too-pretty-to-be-true girls plus an icecream.
comment: love the icecream, awww, sweet, cute.
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The Icecream lovers.
Comment: we just love icecream.
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Which is nicer? Drink or Icecream?
comment: Waikin was jealous he didnt get an icecream. Guess which is my lover. Icecream or him? If you guess him, go see a doc. you are too realistic.
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P.s jiayi, will not forget you next time round!


Tuesday, June 2, 2009

i am here today to blog about 3 terrible monsters!
they are : waikin, joey and kelly.):
they forced me to go ikea by stealing my bag and wallet
i even got scratched real bad by waikin!
anyway, had a great time at ikea.
ate 2 hotdogs and drank 1 1/2 cup of ice lemon tea :D

dear kelly, cheer up!(:
dear joey, start to love cats. (:
dear waikin, i hate mickey mouse.(:
dear cynthia, we are victims of 3 terrible monsters!(:

btw, if you see this video, you will fall in love with the creature.
* must watch!
its so cute, you might even think
why is there such a thing in the world.
i think i am going to get one for myself!
*envy those who has it as a pet!
if i cn ):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PJnn-wMPU9w

alright, off to 'study'.
bye!


Monday, June 1, 2009

to all those taking olevels.
i watched this really great movie and it touched me to tears.
i seriously encourage you to click the link and watch it(:
http://www.fyyy.tv/vod/html/886.html ( only on internet explorer.)
Show : Facing the Giant
its about this rugby team,
they had never won a single game for 6 years.
parents wanted the coach to quit.
or to get someone to replace.
But he chose to hang on.
in the end,
he left it to God.
With that,
his life changed.
His team won every game.
season and all.
People started to respect him.
Well, shall not destroy the show.
enjoy(:

But i am here to tell friends and all.
The giant we are facing here is the olevel.
Lets lift it to His throne.
The foot of His cross.
We pray
But we must not only pray.
We must cry out to him and be humble.
Do not only spend time with him when exams is near.
Like anyone, we must pray for his wisdom.
Like the poor, we humble ourselves before him.
Results dont come in a day.
It may drag, days, months, years.
But put your faith in him.
And you will see miracles.
Amen.


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Daughter of God.
♥ Loud and Hyper

The May Baby.
Born to bring Love, Joy and Chaos.




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layout by Jacquelyn
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